Monday, December 7, 2009

watercoloring, jamming, and thankfulness.

For this blog I do not really have any inspirational thing to write about, I am simply going to write until i do not feel like it anymore, which will be soon because I am going out with cody and friends to see a movie!
I have found a new hobby, painting with watercolors. I am not very artsy and im not very good but I like it. I like to think that if you pretend to be artsy then you are artsy. If you are interested in looking at my paintings and wanted to purchase one... then i would not hate it! If i like you enough then i will be more than happy to just simply make you one of your own inspired by you! But i cannot promise it with be Monet or anything.
Life has been interesting these days. I went home for Thanksgiving... that was interesting. I was able to go to Ft Worth with Kayla and hang out with my friends long lost friends Katy and Tommy, along with their baby precious pea jubilee! We are pretty much besties, i sang to her and taught her how to spell necessary words like JAM and ULTIMATE JAM... i know she is only four months old but im sure she is a prodigee!! After returning home, my little brother came home from bootcamp. That would be a whole story for itself. But i will say i did not enjoy it... mainly because of my thoughts. One night I was laying in bed venting about life to my dog because she was laying with me. As stupid as it sounds I also knew she would listen and not judge my thoughts.... but as i was being negative nancy and venting the Lord brought to my mind... 2 Corin 10:5 which says We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God and TAKE EVERY THOUGHT CAPTIVE to OBEY CHRIST. Yeah i got hurled with that one. The reason I was in a crappy mood the whole time was not because i did not understand why certain things were allowed to happen and why things were ran the way they were. Those things are true, but I was not taking my thoughts captive and making them obedient to Christ. Satan was attacking me and he succeeded. So all week i said over and over take every thought captive, take every thought captive. Sometimes i did not succeed but other times were a sucess. But i figure, that is life.
My neice should be born soon which im super excited about, its my first one and my older brother and i are pretty close. She and I will be sharing a room... which i was not to stoked about at first but now im kinda excited about it! It will give me someone to hang out with! Olivia is already dialated 1.5 CM!!
Cody and I are going strong.. the Lord is continuing to teach me through our relationship... I would put it on here but I figure its a little personal... but if you want to know you can ask. Im sure i wont mind sharing! Its been two months and quite honestly i have loved every minute of it! He is quite wonderful and im proud to call him mine... yes you can throw up now! :)
Finals are coming up and then Christmas break!! Im excited to be done with this semester but its a little unreal considering i will only have one semester left of my college career, other than grad school. Sometimes i think grad school is too big for me, but I also think i should prob sign up for the GRE and maybe apply to the school i want to go to! Or maybe figure out what i even want to do with the rest of my life.... maybe i dont want to be a social worker..what who said that... maybe i dont want to have a big girl job just yet... maybe i want to be a free soul...... okay bye.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009


You repair all that we have torn apart and You unveil a new beginning in our hearts and We stand grateful for all that has been left behind andAll that goes before us You've got all things suspended All things connected Nothing was forgotten' Cause your love is perfect You are our healer And you know what's broken And we're not a mystery to you (to you, oh Lord, to you) We will dance 'cause you restore the wasted years and You will sing over all our coming fears and We'll stand grateful for all that has been left behind and all that goes before us Lord, you mend the breech And you break every fetter You give us your best, but what we thought was better And you are to be praised You are to be praised (to you, oh Lord, mender of the broken)
Mended -- Watermark

So tonight as i was sitting in my room i decided to listen to music instead of watching t.v. This was the first song that came to play on my itunes, its a good song and i use to love it! I have not listened to it in a while but tonight i did. Then i listened to a song by bethany dillon. Before turning on my music my heart felt a little heavy so i wanted to sit in my room play on facebook and just listen to music hoping the Lord would speak. In the midst of the B. Dil song my eyes began to get a little watery, then four tears began to stream down my face. Somewhere in my life my tear ducts broke and I forgot how to cry so i consider these four tears a cry. I really have no idea why this happened but it did. Its been a hard semester for me and honestly im just ready to get out. I do not really know whats here for me anymore, but all of my dreams seem unrealistic because I dont drive. Everyone keeps harping about it and i dont like that i dont drive but i dont and i dont see it changing anytime soon. I feel stuck here and that no matter what my dreams are it doesnt matter because i will be here. i feel broken. I dont even feel broken as in the Lord is breaking me... i just feel broken. broken like a bone only a cast will not fix it... in this case and cast will just hide it. So i am kind of okay with that and have found myself complacent in my hiding. I know that through all of this the Lord will continue to be sovereign but its just hard. I still have happy times, but mostly i just put a smile on my face because its the only thing i really know how to do! A smile and a joke or two will fix life right?! Then i get to points where I just wish I knew what was wrong with me. Is what im going through normal or am i just a creep! I figure its just life and eventually it will get better I just have to suck it up!
This week has been good but long. The weekend was okay too my best friends and I were all together so that was such a blast! This weekend my other best friends are coming in and im stoked about that. The weekend before the one we just had was not good... i was really emo and had some pretty emo writings that came out of it but im not going to share.
I started spending time with the Lord which is something I have been slacking at! Im trying to seek him in the midst of my sorrow and feelings of being broken and empty. I hate that at times of sorrow i find myself seeking the Lord and not in times of happiness as well but thats usually how it works right.. I dont really know whats wrong with me but He does! So much has been going on and i know i cant change it, i just have to face it because sometimes my opinion doesnt really matter. There are times when I feel alone even though i know im not but i just feel that way. I have learned in my lifetime to not ask why something is happening to you, but what you can learn from it. Thinking about it.. i dont really find myself asking anything, i just find myself dealing with it.
Sky came to school to recruit... a part of my wants to go back so bad but the realistic part says no shannon you cant because you need to get a real job and save money. That is not really something im wigging out about but every now and then it comes to my head.
I would like to apologize for this depressing post, but its a representation of my life these days and that is what blogging is for right?
He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog and set my feet upon a rock making my steps secure. Psalm 40:2

Boyfriend update: we are over a month now... its been good! He makes me smile, not because i feel like i have to but just because he is so wonderful! We have monday night date night and thursday night movie night that we have set aside. Those are nights where we for sure hang out and its so good!! He also came to sunday night dinner this past sunday with me! He has met the whole fam now except sam and my little brother. They all seem to like him so that is a good sign!

Friday, October 9, 2009

Its a rainy day in Aggieland

So this weekend I am experiencing life as an Aggie! Its been fairly exciting and extremely overwhelming but i think its obsession worthy! ha! Yesterday Amber Thomas and I arrived at about four o clock! It was a beautiful arrival... we were def freaking out along the way!! We pulled up at Janie's house where she graciously met us outside and then knocked me on the grass.... We went into the house and hung out for a bit. I had previously requested that Janie have Amber and I a hot meal waiting for us on the table upon our arrival... but since her roomies like us better they made a tasty meal! We then went to HEB to purchase some necessities, then back to the house to watch a little television and of course, a dance party!! It was fabulous... one of the best ones yet! Its nice to see her roomies dance with her where as Beth just stares at me while I dance... or it does not even phase her because she is use to it!
This morning we woke up early because Janie had to work... that was hilarious within itself! She drives a bus so i sat on a bus for two hours and shadowed her while she was working. I creeped various sorts of people on the bus as well! Its been pouring down rain all day so i have spent most of my morning soaking wet! We then went to lunch and now janie is in class! What am I doing you may be asking yourself if she is in class... well good question. Im sitting in this funny RPTS computer lab with funny people and a funny professor just creepin around.
Things are done a lot different in Aggieland than they are in Wildcat land... for instance... people ride bikes all around campus.. the bike racks are intense! They favor the bike racks at Wal-Mart immensly! At LC if you ride a bike you are just considered lazy and people stare! Also, janie was freaking out because she only had 25 minutes to get to class... At LC you are thankful for those 25 minutes because there is still time to get A LOT of stuff done! People run to class in aggieland... at LC if you run to class people, and by people i mean me and my friends, yell out funny boy/girl running! Also, why is it that in aggieland these people think its weird i only have five people in my classes... oh maybe because they have like 300 in a class. Buses... people take freaking buses around campus... I on the other hand take a bus on youth mission trips. Its also really cool to wear tights under shorts here... At LC you wear tights under shorts only if you are going to work out and mostly not even then.... Maybe i will try it! People take naps in random buildings as if its okay, no one even says anything about it! At LC the only acceptable place to take a nap is in your room! Also, people under the age of 22 have their own houses... like real life grown up houses where they are allowed to have candles, stoves, hot plates, and other items that are not allowed in a cubicle that is called a dorm! Oh parking garages... please notice i said more than one garage.. they have those too!! We, at LC, have a circle and some parking lots.
My experiences here are not yet over but these are just some of the things I have noticed! As much as I think I could be obsessed with this place, I really am content with LC! I like that its small and i like that people tell people hello even if you don't know them!!
Boyfriend, Week 2: Cody and I have been dating for a week and four days now! We went on our weekaversary to McAllisters and then we made a trip to the mall! It was fun! We are continuing to learn more and more about one another and we pretty much act like we are in fourth grade but I love it!! We are going pretty strong! He does not have texting so that forces better vocal communication which is obviously wonderful! It stinks in times like this where he is at football and I am out of town constantly surrounded by people so we can not always speak!
okay well its only me and a strange man in the lab now so I'm going to stop typing. Ill continue this post later!

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Just a blog!

I do not really a specific purpose of blogging at the moment, but my hope is that something good will come out of it!
All has been well lately, I think I am officially out of camp depression which is good. I have been having good days. I think the normalcy of life is to have some bad moments, so of course that happens. I'm learning more and more everyday to like to be alone. Last week was pretend its camp week so Alice' and I did various funny camp activities, so maybe that was a awkward type of therapy or something weird!
Um... I kinda have a little boyfriend action now and by kinda I mean I do. It happened Monday night at about 8:53 P.M. I know its really lame that i know that but please give me a break! He is one of the most precious things I have ever encountered. Remember how I said I learned about vulnerability over the summer... well now is the perfect chance for me to actually put that into practice and its been hard but its been good. Its not something that I entered into just for fun I prayed about it and processed it, then determined it was okay. It's definitely a new experience for me but I'm loving all of it... even though its only been two days!! hahaha!! We are currently learning to balance time between hanging out with one another and hanging out with our own friends without one another. I'm sure ill update more about him because sometimes I like to say dumb girlfriend things.. like for instance knowing 8:53. I thought about making a 365 day album on facebook and it would be entitled 365 days of having a boyfriend... but I figured that would be taking it too far! So I sustained myself!!
I am going to college station to hang out in approximately 8 days, I'm super stoked about that!!
Okay, enough of this pointless uninspirational blog... sometimes I feel like its silly to update this about what i do daily because i'm just a normal college student.. class work hangout workout. I feel as if i should put life altering words for my readers.. but I do not always have those!
Until next time ill leave you with some photos of me and captain (cody)!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009


"I just love music, worship music. When i hear it, i get it better than when i read it. When i sing it im not just yelling it. Im PROCLAIMING IT AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS"

A friend told me that last night and i have just thought it was a jam since then. Think about how amazing that is... proclaiming it at the top of my lungs. According to the word proclaim means to extol or praise publicly. Publicy... not ashamed.

Last week was a good week, i did not so much feel as if I hated life and everything around me. I think maybe im slowing getting out of my not being at camp depression. Yesterday marked one month since i have been home. Its been a crazy month, but its been a good month. A time of growing and learning. Just a time of taking it all in. I have been learning that my struggles do not define me, however, what does define me is the fact that I am a child of the my Father. I am His child. That has so much more power than any struggle I will ever have.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

yesterday and today.

Today I miss camp a lot. Well actually since I have been back in school, I have been missing camp a lot. I miss the people, I miss all of it. I'm not a fan of sitting in a classroom, its really lame. I don't really feel satisfied with where I am anymore and I absolutley do not like the feeling as if I'm alone all of the time. I know that I am never alone because the Lord is always with me... I taught that to my campers every friday. Sometimes it's just hard to really grasp it. Is that even okay that I just said that?! I'm hoping this is normal and that eventually all will be well but as for now I just feel like im drowning in unsatisfaction. I do not really feel the same, actually I'm pretty sure I'm not the same. Okay, this is really lame and depressing so ill tell you about my yesterday.
Yesterday, I went with Alice' to her grandma's house in Baton Rouge for a little labor day bbq action. We had a lot of fun. A lot of funny things happened and at the end of the day we made a list of about 25 funny things. We listened to funny pandora radio stations... some being T.I., The Beach Boys, Ne-Yo, and Demi Lovato. We went to Perkins Rowe and met with a friend so she could eat... that was funny with in itself. We realized that we are simply too poor to purchase anything from Anthropologie... so instead I took a rock from the outside. We found a wonderful Gucci perfume sample in a magazine, so we tore it up and put it in the vents for some nice gucci air freshner. Those things do not even come close to putting a dent in the funny things list.

It was really good to get away for a day, especially with a very wonderful friend. We had a lot of catch up time and a lot of Jam time.

I will share some photos with you of the funny day we had.

The clouds in the first photo are beautiful. I took this when we were almost at her grams house.
The other two.. well if you cant purchase anything from Anthropologie, may as well have a small photo shoot outside of it!!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009


My friend told me these two things that she recieved today from a book called Walking with the Women of the Bible.

Resolve to criticize or downgrade yourself, but instead Rejoice that you are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Resolve to walk by faith paths you may not understand and Rejoice in the promise of His nearness as He directs your way. Resolve to live as a child of God through His son, Jesus Christ, and Rejoice that as God's child your name is written in Heaven.

its so cool to me that both of those lines pretty much say REJOICE in the LORD in two totally different ways that need to be heard.

Luke 10:17-20 talkes about how the Lord sent 72 people out and they came back to Him really excited because all of these things and people were subject to them through Christ. When they returned they were telling the Lord about this and the Lord told them in verse 20 Nevertheless, DO NOT rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, BUT REJOICE IN THAT YOUR NAMES ARE WRITTEN IN HEAVEN.
how cool is that. the Lord told them that there names were written in heaven. They did not have anything to worry about. At that moment they knew that they would then spend eternity with Christ. ahhhh it blows my mind. I know that I am going to heaven but there is still doubt at times and it just amazes me that those people had NO reason to doubt because Christ told them to Rejoice that their names were written in heaven!
I read this a while back but the first thing I was told today reminded me of that!

Sunday, August 30, 2009


So today was a big day spent of alone time. It is something I'm working on. Today I got home from friend day at POA with Beka and the lights were out in cottingham. So I used that time to spend by myself... partly because no one else was around for me to hang out with. I sat outside and journaled about my summer for a little while. I listened to Kari Jobe while I did that and it was so peaceful. Plus it was beautiful outside. I went to work out for about thirty minutes or so and then sat in the sauna for about eight minutes. I then came back and found a friend to eat dinner with. I can not say that I am a large fan of being by myself all the time but I am trying to like it. Just like the sound of thunder is not comforting being alone is not comforting either. I would just much rather have someone by my side, even if we are not speaking. Just that we are enjoying one anothers company is so much more comforting to me. I know life is not all about comfort and we are not called to be comfortable, its just so much easier.
This semester I believe will give me a lot of opportunities to practice this whole being alone thing.. Im not too excited about it but I do believe it is going to be such a wonderful time of growing.
Well, off to start the second week of school!

Saturday, August 29, 2009

The first of many.

So, usually I'm not much of a blogger or even a person that writes about my life for everyone to see. People tell me that it is good to write things down so it can be processed easier hince the reason for this and my new found journaling that started last night. I figure I should write about my summer so I can take everything in and be able to constantly apply everything the Lord taught me. I am more of a poem writer so this whole writing things more in depth is new to me.
With all of this being said I will tell you some of the things the Lord has shown me over the summer. Please do not expect anything intensely profound because I look at life as a simple non complex thing.
1. The Lord loves me. Not just a love like my parents have for me, but a love that is never going to reach a comparable state. I have always known that He loves me but this summer I really wrestled with the reason as to why because im totally and completely undeserving of it.
2. Its okay to struggle and to admit your struggles. That is hard for me because its all part of vulnerability.. something I am no good at. Just like this is okay, its okay to look at yourself on a deeper level than what people see. But im learning and trying.
3. Self Confidence is important. I really can do things I just don't think I can which then prevents me from even trying in the first place. This is something I am working on as well.
4. Its okay to be alone and not surrounded by people all the time. Its actually good for you. I have been doing this and so far Im not a big fan of it. But, i'm sure something good will come from it eventually. For this very reason I am proud to say I have eaten in the cafeteria twice by myself.
I guess over the summer I really learned a lot about myself. I feel like there is so much more but this whole blog thing deals with vulnerability which as seen is learning number 2 I am no good at. So, I'm obviously not going to share it all and its so much you would be bored by the conclusion of it.

So, as I conclude this blog I will leave you with a little something I came up with while journaling last night.

It started with a tree stump and ended with a hug.
It started with hello and ended with see you soon.
It started with strangers and ended with best friends.
It started with six weeks and ended with nine.
What exactly is it, it is the most amazing summer with the most amazing friendship with the most amazing girl.

it started. it ended.